Goal orientated versus Doing-it-for-show
So you have got out from a certain lifestyle or job or whatever. For me? National service (I will be using National Service as an example since I have personal experience. Sorry if the ladies can't relate to it). The most common questions thrown to me or you who are reading this (i'm sure you can relate):
"What's next?" "Studying?" "Any plans?"
Or for people here who are a couple visiting relatives or parents friends or whoever are older:
"When are you getting married?" "When are you getting a house?" "Plans to have babies?"
And often, it's through these peer pressure people are applying it on you, unknowingly pushes you to do things that are often.... not quite what you actually planned or wanted.
Here are some signs or hints for you, to know if you are doing it for the sake of doing(to shut people up or just for show), or because it's what you have always planned to do it, your personal life goals.
1. You don't enjoy the process.
I'm sure you have heard people complaining that life is tough or pondering if this particular choice or path is right for them all the time. (Well everyone do that all the time, but read on.)
To me, slogging hard or even suffering in some case during the process to your personal goals are worth suffering for. Through the process, you learn, concentrate and keep focus towards that goal you have always believed in. You are suppose to feel even more encouraged to keep on going rather than doubting yourself all the times. Of course there will be times when you are depress and even doubt yourself, but if you manage to keep your head up and brush off those doubts off your mind, hey, you are doing for your own sake and that's something to be proud about.
Meanwhile, people who actually doubt every single steps they take, or even ask themselves "Why the hell am I doing this?" more than "It's tough but this is what I want." are often people who make decisions based on viewpoints of others and that, which brings us to the next point.
2. You let other people's viewpoint affect your decisions.
"Why are you studying this field?? It doesn't bring money!"
"Why don't bank loan?"
"Why not just work for the money and plan later?"
If you let those questions above affect your decisions, hey, you are bound to regret one day. It might not be in the near future, but one day.
"Why?" You may ask.
Everyone have a different views and values about life. What matters to them, might not to you. So why let others decide what you can, should and not do?
And I don't mean you can't ask for advice from experienced people. You certainly can, but letting it affect and pressure you in any decision that you make? Maybe not.
3. You made certain decisions just to shut people up.
Recently I heard this story about a couple who had a shotgun marriage. Of course it is the right thing to do, the man should take up responsibility for his mistake(?) and the lady. They did what everyone see it as the right thing to do.
So they did. Marrying, getting an apartment, happily ever after and people stop pointing fingers or gossip behind their back. So you think the matter is over when the people around them see them settled down? Nope.
After they got married, there were frictions, lots of it. They quarrel over money, baby, family and even the smallest things. They were certainly unhappy. But did anyone care about it (other than the family)? Nope. Because they did the right thing already, who cares how they are managing or suffering after that? No one is interested. But the couple have to deal with it, it's their life after all.
Hold on, I'm not saying they did the wrong thing, of course they must bear the consequences and be responsible of the baby but this is one good example of how people made decisions sometimes, simply because it's the right thing to do in other people's eyes (and shut them up).
We often make decisions based on what people say, just to appease them, or to build that perfect image in other people's eyes. At the end of the day, it is us who will regret.
It's our life. We must be responsible for our decisions that we made for ourselves. It doesn't make any sense how we make important, life deciding decisions based on other people's perceptions and views.
If you haven't found your goal, purpose. I suggest you to keep looking for one. Be focus. Do not settle down because of some remarks from others or pressure to do well in a short time.
Do not settle for convenience sake my friend.
We all have skills that we might not even realized yet. Live for your goals, your purpose, not for how people will see you as because it's your own life after all.
People affect and decides your decision, but when you screwed up, or realized that it's a mistake, will they apologize?
2. You let other people's viewpoint affect your decisions.
"Why are you studying this field?? It doesn't bring money!"
"Why don't bank loan?"
"Why not just work for the money and plan later?"
If you let those questions above affect your decisions, hey, you are bound to regret one day. It might not be in the near future, but one day.
"Why?" You may ask.
Everyone have a different views and values about life. What matters to them, might not to you. So why let others decide what you can, should and not do?
And I don't mean you can't ask for advice from experienced people. You certainly can, but letting it affect and pressure you in any decision that you make? Maybe not.
3. You made certain decisions just to shut people up.
Recently I heard this story about a couple who had a shotgun marriage. Of course it is the right thing to do, the man should take up responsibility for his mistake(?) and the lady. They did what everyone see it as the right thing to do.
So they did. Marrying, getting an apartment, happily ever after and people stop pointing fingers or gossip behind their back. So you think the matter is over when the people around them see them settled down? Nope.
After they got married, there were frictions, lots of it. They quarrel over money, baby, family and even the smallest things. They were certainly unhappy. But did anyone care about it (other than the family)? Nope. Because they did the right thing already, who cares how they are managing or suffering after that? No one is interested. But the couple have to deal with it, it's their life after all.
Hold on, I'm not saying they did the wrong thing, of course they must bear the consequences and be responsible of the baby but this is one good example of how people made decisions sometimes, simply because it's the right thing to do in other people's eyes (and shut them up).
We often make decisions based on what people say, just to appease them, or to build that perfect image in other people's eyes. At the end of the day, it is us who will regret.
It's our life. We must be responsible for our decisions that we made for ourselves. It doesn't make any sense how we make important, life deciding decisions based on other people's perceptions and views.
If you haven't found your goal, purpose. I suggest you to keep looking for one. Be focus. Do not settle down because of some remarks from others or pressure to do well in a short time.
Do not settle for convenience sake my friend.
We all have skills that we might not even realized yet. Live for your goals, your purpose, not for how people will see you as because it's your own life after all.
People affect and decides your decision, but when you screwed up, or realized that it's a mistake, will they apologize?
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